my tuesday
just had a run. 3km in 20 mins. dissappointed. slower by last week's timing by 2 mins. maybe because i am just not in a mood to run?
i am so afraid of tuesday. the day that we broke up. still remember 2 weeks ago at this time, i have most prob became a water fountain.
that's why now on every tuesday. i made it a point to go gym. to run in hope of forgetting everything. in hope of running faster. in hope of not turning back. in hope of a new direction.
yah yah. after every run, here i am at the office. simply refusing to go home. i don't want act strong. act okay in front of my mum. sometimes, i just need a place, a corner of my own. at this little desk of mine where no one else is left in the office, i feel wetness on my cheeks. i feel blurness on my eyes.
after one whole week of acting strong and okay, i love this day, this time where i can cry all i want. where nobody will come and ask u what happen.
i m very lost. i think basically i am just avoiding. yeah. i am already not as affected as in the past. but everything i do is bascially to avoid. i am not facing the reality. i am not facing the reality. i am just running and running. faster and faster. but i don't know which direction i am going.
my colleague told me that my boss is worried for me. especially worried for me when she is going for her 6 mths unpaid leave. she don't want me to end up like the previous sales person where she is asked to leave because she cannot perform.
the truth is that i am not hitting my sales target. no where near. but i know i am trying. i am really trying. i am still keeping my beliefs strong isn't it. but what is happening? is it really because of the sectors that i am handling are not really suited for SMS advertising? i have met quite a fair bit of people as well. but the sales are just not coming in. the world is just so cruel. it does not matter what your reasons are, sometimes u are never given a second chance.
what should i do? i can't afford to lose my career anymore. i just lost someone u know?
who can i talk to? who can i share my burden with? who can i cry to? who can understand me? who can listen to me? who can be there for me? who will support me?
dear friends. is not that meishan don't trust u all. but i just don't know how to tell u guys when i with u all. u all know me.
dear blog. it seems that u are the only one i can relate to now.
what is happening to me?
can you believe? the old meishan is someone who has lots of achievements:
when i appeared on half a page of Recruit back then.
MS AW Mei Shan recalls her English language teacher calling her a stupid student in front of her Primary 6 classmates. She was hurt by the nasty remark, but it also made her work harder to get into the express stream in Nan Hua Secondary School. Ms Aw, who is now 22, says: "The teacher was wrong. I am not stupid, but her remark made me realise that I was not working hard enough."
The only child in her family, she scored good marks in Nan Hua where she was the top national police cadet with the best record in co-curricular activities. She was in the science stream in the school and in Jurong Junior College. When she was 15, her father was struck by a major illness forcing him to give up his job as a factory worker. It was tough for her to study and take care of him while her mother continued to work in a factory to support the family. She could not get into any of the public universities here because of the poor results she had in the A level examinations. She abandoned her ambition to be a physiotherapist because she felt she did not have the emotional strength to deal with difficult patients.
Ms Aw says: "I felt that I did not have the strength to persuade patients hit by strokes and heart attacks not to give up the physiotherapy that they need. "My fear was that if they cried, I would cry with them." A new beginningEncouraged by her parents to try something new, she joined the first batch of students in the Singapore Institute of Management (SIM) and the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology's (RMIT) degree in business marketing programme.
She signed up for the three-year bachelor's degree programme in 2005 and worked in a Sentosa tourist attraction to earn pocket money. Before she completed the programme in April this year, Ms Aw applied for a SpeedWing internship at Seaworld in Orlando in the United States. From May to August this year, she was among the first batch of students from Singapore working at Seaworld's new Aquatica theme park. She earned US$7.60 (S$11.20) per hour. The experience "opened a new world of self-discovery" for her. The experience made her more independent and confident of her abilities to take care of herself and pursue a career in the tourism industry. Ms Aw says: "I did not know what I wanted in my life before my stint in the US. When I was there I was living my own life and making my own decisions away from my parents. I had to cook, wash my clothes and shop for groceries. "Living away from home made me learn more about myself. I made decisions about what I really like to eat and should I go to a party or work overtime. "I broke the physical reliance on my mother. When I am at home here, Mum cooks for me and washes my clothes. Sometimes she even tidies up my room when it is messy!" It was an eye-opener for Ms Aw to serve American visitors in the Aquatica theme park that was opened in March this year. They are more vocal than Asians in expressing their appreciation for good service. "You feel that your services are being appreciated," she says. "It is great to see American CEOs, ordinary workers and families enjoying themselves. "The theme park brings people together and families, including those with handicapped children, are united when they are in the park. "It is sweet to see such family unity in action, especially if you are someone who has had a misfortune in your family." Moving onMs Aw will continue to look for other jobs while she is waiting for a reply to her application to be a market development manager in Sentosa Resort World.
Looking back on the days in Primary 6, she says she is not angry with the teacher who called her stupid. She adds: "If I see her, I will say, 'How are you?' If she wants to know how I am faring, I will say: 'I am doing great!'"
source: http://jobs.st701.com/articles/Making-the-right-choice.html
then, what is happening to me now?
all lost. all messed up.
pls guide me.
i am so afraid of tuesday. the day that we broke up. still remember 2 weeks ago at this time, i have most prob became a water fountain.
that's why now on every tuesday. i made it a point to go gym. to run in hope of forgetting everything. in hope of running faster. in hope of not turning back. in hope of a new direction.
yah yah. after every run, here i am at the office. simply refusing to go home. i don't want act strong. act okay in front of my mum. sometimes, i just need a place, a corner of my own. at this little desk of mine where no one else is left in the office, i feel wetness on my cheeks. i feel blurness on my eyes.
after one whole week of acting strong and okay, i love this day, this time where i can cry all i want. where nobody will come and ask u what happen.
i m very lost. i think basically i am just avoiding. yeah. i am already not as affected as in the past. but everything i do is bascially to avoid. i am not facing the reality. i am not facing the reality. i am just running and running. faster and faster. but i don't know which direction i am going.
my colleague told me that my boss is worried for me. especially worried for me when she is going for her 6 mths unpaid leave. she don't want me to end up like the previous sales person where she is asked to leave because she cannot perform.
the truth is that i am not hitting my sales target. no where near. but i know i am trying. i am really trying. i am still keeping my beliefs strong isn't it. but what is happening? is it really because of the sectors that i am handling are not really suited for SMS advertising? i have met quite a fair bit of people as well. but the sales are just not coming in. the world is just so cruel. it does not matter what your reasons are, sometimes u are never given a second chance.
what should i do? i can't afford to lose my career anymore. i just lost someone u know?
who can i talk to? who can i share my burden with? who can i cry to? who can understand me? who can listen to me? who can be there for me? who will support me?
dear friends. is not that meishan don't trust u all. but i just don't know how to tell u guys when i with u all. u all know me.
dear blog. it seems that u are the only one i can relate to now.
what is happening to me?
can you believe? the old meishan is someone who has lots of achievements:
when i appeared on half a page of Recruit back then.
MS AW Mei Shan recalls her English language teacher calling her a stupid student in front of her Primary 6 classmates. She was hurt by the nasty remark, but it also made her work harder to get into the express stream in Nan Hua Secondary School. Ms Aw, who is now 22, says: "The teacher was wrong. I am not stupid, but her remark made me realise that I was not working hard enough."
The only child in her family, she scored good marks in Nan Hua where she was the top national police cadet with the best record in co-curricular activities. She was in the science stream in the school and in Jurong Junior College. When she was 15, her father was struck by a major illness forcing him to give up his job as a factory worker. It was tough for her to study and take care of him while her mother continued to work in a factory to support the family. She could not get into any of the public universities here because of the poor results she had in the A level examinations. She abandoned her ambition to be a physiotherapist because she felt she did not have the emotional strength to deal with difficult patients.
Ms Aw says: "I felt that I did not have the strength to persuade patients hit by strokes and heart attacks not to give up the physiotherapy that they need. "My fear was that if they cried, I would cry with them." A new beginningEncouraged by her parents to try something new, she joined the first batch of students in the Singapore Institute of Management (SIM) and the Royal Melbourne Institute of Technology's (RMIT) degree in business marketing programme.
She signed up for the three-year bachelor's degree programme in 2005 and worked in a Sentosa tourist attraction to earn pocket money. Before she completed the programme in April this year, Ms Aw applied for a SpeedWing internship at Seaworld in Orlando in the United States. From May to August this year, she was among the first batch of students from Singapore working at Seaworld's new Aquatica theme park. She earned US$7.60 (S$11.20) per hour. The experience "opened a new world of self-discovery" for her. The experience made her more independent and confident of her abilities to take care of herself and pursue a career in the tourism industry. Ms Aw says: "I did not know what I wanted in my life before my stint in the US. When I was there I was living my own life and making my own decisions away from my parents. I had to cook, wash my clothes and shop for groceries. "Living away from home made me learn more about myself. I made decisions about what I really like to eat and should I go to a party or work overtime. "I broke the physical reliance on my mother. When I am at home here, Mum cooks for me and washes my clothes. Sometimes she even tidies up my room when it is messy!" It was an eye-opener for Ms Aw to serve American visitors in the Aquatica theme park that was opened in March this year. They are more vocal than Asians in expressing their appreciation for good service. "You feel that your services are being appreciated," she says. "It is great to see American CEOs, ordinary workers and families enjoying themselves. "The theme park brings people together and families, including those with handicapped children, are united when they are in the park. "It is sweet to see such family unity in action, especially if you are someone who has had a misfortune in your family." Moving onMs Aw will continue to look for other jobs while she is waiting for a reply to her application to be a market development manager in Sentosa Resort World.
Looking back on the days in Primary 6, she says she is not angry with the teacher who called her stupid. She adds: "If I see her, I will say, 'How are you?' If she wants to know how I am faring, I will say: 'I am doing great!'"
source: http://jobs.st701.com/articles/Making-the-right-choice.html
then, what is happening to me now?
all lost. all messed up.
pls guide me.
posted by mEishAn at 8:02 PM
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